I read John 3:16 and 17 and this song came to me tonight…
Your hands your feet
the scars you show
to love the world
to make us whole
you set me free
i’ve come to know
a love that will not
let me go
i love the cross
i lay my whole life down
before you Lord
I love the cross
I give you everything
so I can know you more
I want to love you more
i’ll tell the world about your love
i’ll tell the world what Christ has done!
So this week I thought I am tired of writing songs no one will ever hear… which made me wonder why I care anyway. Why do people need to hear them? Well they don’t. And I am ok with that. I am not so amazing that the whole world will be saved through my songs. In fact I write music because God created me to as a way of expressing my love for him and as a gift to me to express my innermost thoughts and well it makes me happy. That alone is a good enough reason to keep writing music and songs that the most important one will hear: Christ. And that is my only concern from this day forward that my music be done for mine and God’s relatioship, and if the opportunity arises to share my music than so be it and if not then just as well with my soul!
This is not for anybody
This is not a show
This is more than just a feeling
This is what I know:
Nothing really matters apart from love
I found it at the cross
My gains all measure up to you
proving it worth my loss
I lay down my life
because Jesus you gave yours…
Found this in my journal from January 10, 2001… One month before I got engaged to Beau!
Sweet and lush
Is the Kiss of my lover
One is not enough
As I yearn for another
Your lips taste like sugar
Your breath gentle like a babe
When you kiss me tender
And whisper my name
You steal the necter from my bud
So natural as a bee
And you even rob the marrow
From the deepest part of me
“I love you” is my anthem song
My soul will always sing
I sing it unashamed and strong
everytime your kissing me!
Listen old friend
My soul does vow
A loyal support
Of the art now
My devotion knows the line
Still lacks not in fervor
Supports from the north
A distant wanderer
Familial in type
A bond almost as kin
Am humored, touched even
by what’s discovered within!
after a difficult and tearful evening of prayer in June this song came to me. Much of it comes out of Psalms (Verses 118:17 and 121:1).
where are you tonight?
All i can see are my tears
i’m tired from the fight
it’s getting to me
after all these years
But i will not die
i will live to sing your praise
i lift up my eyes where does my help come from?
my help will come from you
i lift up my hands and i surrender this
i give it all up to you
Jesus breathe life into this heart
you make all things beautiful
in time can you restore
these wasted years of mine
i’m worn and broken down
but it won’t get the best of me
at least not tonight
i will not die
i will live to sing your praise
Lead me to your heart
So in May… I sat at my piano to combat a heavy and doubting heart. and I wrote the following song. I was reminded of the story (1 samuel 18) where Saul gets all depressed because his people were chanting that David killed more people then he did in war. The Bible literally says a distressing spirit came upon him. so as he is freaking out and angry and yelling in his temple David begins to praise God by singing. And Saul gets all irritated and throws a spear at David which David narrowly escapes (twice!). This is the beginning of Sauls jealous persuit of David’s life, but David always ran to God over and over again. The point I am making is that David is said to be a man after God’s own heart; and I really believe that he is called that not because he was perfect (um he cheated on his wife and killed his mistresses husband to cover it up!) not because he was a great king even, not because he was a nice guy or cause he was rich or an amazing musician but because he ALWAYS got back on track by worshipping God. No matter what David always ran to God for repentance, help, comfort, victory, joy etc… David loved God and God loved David. so with that in mind… here is the song that I wrote tonight while chasing away my own doubts and fears… and wherever you are on your journey of faith be encouraged that the Lord does not look at what man looks at, He looks at you heart. Seek Him, run to Him always. He loves you so much more than you could EVER imagine. He desires you and wants you to desire Him. That’s all He wants is your heart!
strip away
the layers I hide behind
until I am expose
and my heart you find
here i stand before you
find my brokenness
take me as I am
show your loving kindness
Lead me to your heart
I will search for you
lead me to your heart
i belong to you
i want to know
more than ever before
the mysteries of you
show your glory to me
like a child
i am wrapped up in you
this is where i feel safe
yet still i want even more
lead me to your heart
i will search for you
lead me to your heart
i belong to you
hope
When my world is full of chaos
When I can not find my way out
When I’m greiving from my loss and I can not carry on
When my heart is bruised and bleeding
When my body’s worn and aching
When I feel like I am being tossed within the storm
You are my hope
Jesus
You are my hope
I will wait for you
When my sources are depleted
When my failures overwhelm me
When I cant repay all the debts I owe
You are my hope
Jesus
You are my hope
I will wait for you
Iwill be glad
And I will rejoice
I’ll remember what you said
That if I make the choice
To trust in you…
Then I wil be lifted
I will be lifted
I will be lifted up!
You are my hope…
In the quietness of my soul
behind closed doors
when no one is looking
deep within my heart
my eyes closed
my mind and my thoughts only
where He can speak to me
in that place of surrender and humility
when I realize I can do nothing
I am worth nothing and have nothing
without Him and His perfect grace…
that is where I find my strength.
Sweet Baby
My sweet Baby
Don’t you cry
I will hold you
Through the night
In the morning
When the day has come
We will laugh in spite
Of what was done
So if you wake up
And I’m not there
You can find me
You’ll know where
I’m in your heart
And you’re in mine
Rest assured
It’s gonna be alright
We are strong so
We will fight
For your interest
And what is right
But if I have to
Let you go
I will stand still
And watch you soar
Fly…..
Come invade my territory
Stake your claim
My boundaries won’t refrain
Come gather my kisses
the same way the bee
Harvests the honey
I come undone!
For when you’re around
I can not hear a sound
You take me there
To wits end
Let’s start all over again.
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